We all belong somewhere; whether it’d be at home, with another person, or even a moment in time. It’s the feeling of instant gratification that separates us from each other as we fill the want/need of what we all lack in life: Life itself. But while we’re out purchasing products, exchanging words and feigning philanthropy, we lose track of who we are as individuals. It’s easy to fall prey under categories like “Teenager”, “Adult”, “Homosexual”, “Black” or “Asian” at any given moment. When it boils down to identity, we’re all taking a cursory glance over our upbringings and not stepping out of the mold that defines us. We’re all wandering with no questions to answer.
What does it mean to wander?
In a recent turn of events, I was forced to abandon a foundation I’ve helped formed over a few years. It was a relationship with whom I thought may have actually been the one. I saw myself as a speck of flesh floating across a blank slate with no direction, no meaning, no life or forethought on what to do thereafter. I was wandering.
In an effort to find solace in closure while rediscovering myself, I set off on a solo adventure to Japan. My itinerary was incredibly loose, inhibitions practically vanquished, and begrudging mentality wiped. During my time soaking in the culture for a 3rd consecutive year, I made note of my actions, reactions and how they contribute to defining who I really am. I know I’m Tyson. But who is Tyson? Why was it so important for me to understand myself and grow as a being? After returning from Japan, the tip of the iceberg had only been revealed. Answers started pouring in and development on a new me had begun. I may not know who I am currently, or who I might have been before the excursion- but at least I now have a better idea of who I might be.
I find that to be the most difficult challenge as a human being; you may think you know who you are, or where you belong in relevant proximity, but the answer will always change. And who you are today may not be who you will be a few years down the line. Times change and people change with them. We’re all in a constant state of “becoming the best me I can be” and it’s a process that provides truly rewarding milestones along the way (which, in it’s twisted way, is another form of instant gratification). The road we all take towards achieving the (insert name here) that you want to be is an ambiguous path with no definitive start or end. I guarantee you will diverge from the path you had originally mapped out for yourself, and that’s totally viable!
The beauty in growth is that everything is undefined, undetermined and is ultimately nothing more than a foggy path where we’re all left wandering.
