Demons & Uncertainty

It hurts
It always hurts
Even when there is no beginning, there is always an end
Why does it hurt, when it shouldn’t?
I wanted feelings and to breathe in new life
And to finally draw on the clean slate
It’s strange how the longer things took, the harder things became
This shouldn’t be happening…

All this talk of demons and uncertainty
Made me build a wall and to build it higher than yours
To love somebody for their personality
For their passion
For their kindness and generosity
To love somebody for how they’ve become who they are was a remarkable step for me
The feelings are strong and I know they’re incredibly strong for you

Why can’t I do this?

Tell me what’s holding me back from wanting to spend the rest of my life with you
Tell me why I can’t do something that should come naturally
Tell me why I’m unable to give my all to you
Because I really want to know

Help me help you.

I truly believe something can spark between us
And maybe something already has
But now is not the time to tend our fire
You’re right though, “Timing is everything.”

If you’re reading this, I want you to know:
I really want to love you but I can’t
I really want to hold your hand but I can’t
I really want to tell you how much you mean to me,
And set everything aside to stand next to you,
But I can’t.

Because I am uncertain
About myself
About you
About us

That is my demon.