It happened again:
We were both in my bed
Naked and carefree of any upcoming endeavour.
I had you in my arms.
You were the smaller spoon and we proved to the gods our contours express harmony.
Two tetris pieces bonded by the same ideology. You always loved Tetris.
We were built under the same concept.
Delivered from the same astral plane,
And every time I’m with you we’ve returned home;
An infinite galaxy where time doesn’t exit.
You said something.
I didn’t hear it, but I never made you repeat it.
I took solace in hearing your voice, a familiar tone that lulls me into a deep infatuation.
I’ve delved in too deep, but that’s okay
Because I know where I want to be. Here, with you.
But this isn’t the first time we’ve caught up.
We’re always together, and it’s always next year.
And still, we’re amazed we were able to overcome the struggles.
All the hurdles, every little fight, through enough tears to drown us both.
A puddle so deep, we could have died.
This could have died, but it didn’t.
Here we are on my bed, and I don’t need you to tell me you love me.
And I don’t need to tell you but I want to.
“I love you”
I don’t hear anything back and I’m okay with this.
Because you’re here. You’re back.
We’re back.
Without clothes we’re at our most vulnerable, and I can see through your skin. I can see straight through to your soul.
I can see happiness. I can see reassessed comfort. I can see you chose to be here, because you wanted to be here.
And I’m happy.
For the first time in a long time I am happy!
All my cracks, my screws,
My scars and aches,
Sleepless nights,
Silent moments in my head,
They all disappear because you’re here with me.
So why title this “Recurring Nightmare”, when I’m writing about my happiness?
I’m happy when my eyes are closed and she is here,
But then they open and she’s gone.
Torn by reality, your lower lips starts to quiver
And you do your best not to cry.
Why name this poem “Recurring Nightmare”?
Because the worst part of my dreams are waking up from them.
